merry christmas

saturday song: renegade

well, for today's saturday song, i have a special edition.  last night i found out that i won a contest.  that's news enough, since i can't remember ever winning a contest. 

but it's even better.  i won 2 steelers tickets to seem them play on new years day in cleveland, and it includes the round trip bus ride.  so, to kick off my 2012, i'll be in cleveland watching my beloved steelers in cleveland browns stadium.  i can't wait! 

and so, to celebrate that, as well as to acknowledge that the steelers playing the rams today, today's saturday song is a steelers classic: renegade, by styx. 

go steelers!

milinovich family christmas video 2011

each year for christmas i try and make some kind of music video to 'tell the story' of our christmas season as a family and capture a moment in time.  my hope is both that these will be cherished in the future by these dancing fools and enjoyed by both family and friends far and near presently.  click here to see the one i made last year, here for 2009's version, and here for the first one i did, back in 2008. 

and now, without further ado, here is this year's model:  all i want for christmas is my two front teeth.  enjoy. 

christmastime is coming

christmas is only four days away, and we've been busy capturing the wonder of the season with the camera.  here are a couple family shots that i enjoyed.  the annual christmas video will be here soon, so stay tuned. 

get back up

well, poop.  after that turd the steelers left in san francisco, all i can say for them - and for me - is that its time to get back up again.  there are WAY bigger and better things going on this week, so it's just time to get back up. 

purple rain

there's only one thing that brings me more joy than a ravens loss...

and that's a steelers victory. 

go steelers!  let's take over the conference tonight.  clear eyes...full hearts...can't lose!!!

saturday song: come and worship

it's hard to believe that Christmas is just about a week away.  i hope you are experiencing the blessedness of this season of waiting and expectation, even if you are also neck-deep in the busyness of it. 

for today's saturday song, i bring you a song that has become one of my favorite Christmas songs.  it is by an artist named bebo norman, and it's simple yet powerful refrain of "come and worship" feels so much like the anthem of my life's work, that i can't help but feel at home when i hear it.  everything in my soul rises up and cups eager hands to the mouth of my life in full volume:  COME AND WORSHIP!  COME AND WORSHIP! 

oh, man, don't even get me started.  this song just says it the way i want my life to say it.  i found this video that someone made, presumably with clips from the relatively recent movie "the nativity."  while i am in no way advocating for that film (having never seen it), nor agreeing that the way this video displays the nativity is the way it actually happened, i will say that it is interesting to have a picture to look at, at least for the sake of comparing it to the picture in your head if you have one, or to help you along that process if you don't.  or, if you prefer, just close your eyes and listen to the song.  either way, just come and worship.  Christmas is eight days away. 

a baby changes everything

a baby changes everything.  this is the name of a song that was sung beautifully in our church on sunday.  and as we have been rehearsing it and then hearing it again on sunday, i have been reflecting on the meaning of those words in a way that having a child 4 months ago uniquely affords me. 

a baby does change everything. 

a baby is such a symbol of radical hope.  we look at a world that is so depressing at times, so hopeless, and yet it seems that love compels us to act in great hope in the face of such despair.  in the midst of wars and recessions and epidemics and -perhaps worst of all - party politics, we still have hope; we still have children.  we give birth to beings, from the emptiness of non-existence, to the warm waters of the womb, to, eventually, the chaos and noise and jarring brokenness  of this wide world.  and yet we go through this journey anyway, because somewhere inside us we believe - we hope against hope - that this is a worthwhile adventure.  that it won't always be like this.  that someday, maybe even through a little baby, God will redeem the hell out of this beautiful mess, both the one that i call 'me,' and the one i call the world. 

i certainly know how a baby changes everything - or learned it again this year.  a baby changes the normal night sounds.  changes sleep patterns.  changes home decor.  it's changed our parenting strategy; changed our family dynamics; and changed the rhythm of our days.  our baby has changed everything, including my capacity to love, which i never thought could happen.  a baby changes everything.  even the world.  even me. 

i saw daddy punching santa claus

ho ho ho. 

i love the whole santa myth.  some people find this surprising, since i am a pastor, and there are some cultural expectations that Christians should be militant against the secular portions of the Christmas tradition.  well, you're talking to the wrong pastor for that. 

santa claus, of course, is not a secular figure at all, and is a jolly old saint who embodies the christian ideals of kindness, generosity, giving to the poor, and love.  he does NOT, however, despite the way that parts of our culture have tried to hijack him, represent gluttony, greed, or unchecked capitalism. 

all of that, to say this. 

we went to the mall on monday night to see santa claus (not really santa claus, of course, but helping him).  i specifically got on the mall's website before we went to see what the policies for photography/video were, and to see how much it cost to purchase the pictures which they take.  the guidelines were quite clear.  guests are not permitted to take pictures from within the santa set (emphasis mine), and sitting on santa's lap is FREE.  the cheapest photo option is $22 for one picture.  one picture!  ridiculous.

so, i figured we would sit on the jolly old elf's lap, and i would stand outside the santa set and snap a few pictures and perhaps capture some video of the event, as i've done every year. 

however, when we got there and i removed myself from the santa set in order to take said pictures, i was told by one of santa's "little helpers" that  - and i quote - i can't video from there.  okay.  i simply mentioned that their guidelines mentioned no such restriction, and then i started getting my camera ready.  she proceeded to help santa by telling me that there was no photography from there either.  i'm sure i assumed a quizzical look as i explained that i was quite clearly outside the santa set as per the printed instructions right there on the sign.  all she would say is, "i'm sorry.  it's not my rule.  then she mumbled something about the mall's rules, but this was clearly just a lame attempt to scapegoat her mall santa company's greed onto someone else. 

let me be clear here.  i don't ultimately have a problem with a 'no photography' rule.  actually, i do, but i would have been willing to abide by that rule, if that had been made clear.  but it wasn't.  in fact, the printed restriction seemed to make it clear that photography was indeed permitted, outside of certain areas.  it was misleading and i was annoyed by this, especially since santa's helper wouldn't acknowledge this discrepancy between the printed rule and her new one. 

looking back on it, i wish i would have taken the pictures anyway, since there were no printed restrictions prohibiting what i was doing.  but, alas, i didn't.  i am a dang rule-follower.  so i packed up the camera's.  by this time, the whole family was all upset because i just about got thrown out of the mall by a  matronly elf.  so, the story ends with us  - a fired up dad, an extremely embarrassed mom, and some confused children - awkwardly walking away from saint nick, without any picture at all, not even a grossly overpriced one. 

once i cooled off a bit, i remembered that i had seen an old santa suit stuck up on a shelf in the church somewhere.  so i stopped by the church on the way home, secretly put the suit in the car and brought it home.  while the kids went and played, i changed into costume, and then came into the living room with a boisterous "ho ho ho!"  they pretty much immediately knew it was me (santa doesn't wear black rimmed glasses, apparently), but we had fun laughing about it and at least got a picture.  i only charged $15 for the pic, and i even allowed shannon to stand inside the living room to take the photo.  anyway, we got some fun pics and a memory that we'll laugh about for some time.

okay, so maybe they're not the greatest pictures in the world, but, hey, at least we didn't pay $22 for a picture that looks like this:

christmas vinyl and familiar faces

yes, i'm a nerd.  in many ways, i suppose.  one of which is that i have a vinyl collection.  saying "i have a vinyl collection" is one way that nerds try to sound cool.  it means, i still have tons of records (those big black cds that played music, for all those born in the '80's and have no idea what i'm talking about).  in fact, i still buy them at flea markets and yard sales and, when i'm feeling ultra-hip, at vinyl stores, like this coolest one ever in princeton, nj. 

i love lp's.  i like the ambient sound of a record, complete with scratches and hisses.  i love the big format, with large pictures and artwork and often a full set of lyrics.  i love the weight of it: when you buy music you get something literally heavy. 

in short, records are awesome, and yes, i'm a nerd. 

anyway, each year at christmas, i go through my vinyl collection and pull out all my christmas albums so we can listen to them, and at the very least, have them be a part of our festive Christmas decor.  currently they are leaned up against my cd cabinet.  for awhile i had this one displayed: 

but one day, cade told me that he wanted to put a different one in the front.  so he looked through them, and pulled this one out:

i'm not really sure that cade knows what records are, but it appears he thinks that the jackets are oversized cardboard pictures of people we know.  after he moved this one to the front, he asked me why we had this picture of "pappy without his glasses and great jeanie."  i chuckled, but the more i looked at it, the more i saw the resemblance to these people in our extended family. 

then, the other day, he found this record

and he very matter-of-factly pointed out that it was our family friend suebee.  it's not that he thinks these people look like the people we know, it's that he really thinks it is them.  it's so adorable and i love it.  i also think he's right most of the time, which is cool.  but he was never more right than in this last example. 

cade found a bing crosby christmas album, where bing is wearing a santa hat, and said it was dr. tom from church.  dr. tom was in the christmas play that we just finished at church, and so we've all spent a great deal of time together at rehearsals.  and when cade saw the bing crosby record, he simply stated that it was dr. tom.  and i was struck by the resemblance, so i made a little comparison for you.  dr. tom, if you're reading, cade (and i) think you look like bing. 

if nothing else, cade's innocence reminds me to keep my eyes open for the "magic" of life all around me.  it's a major theme of this blog, of course, and is probably a message i need to hear over and over again.  what looks like just a familiar old piece of christmas cardboard to me might just be a window into thinking of a dear friend, not to mention reckless laughter.  these joyous moments of surprise and life are hidden all around us, if only we had eyes to see them; if only we would be like a child. 

so, in closing, cade and i will probably see you around our house.  you should just hope it isn't in this christmas album cover:

newsworthy

yesterday our church put on a great play called "live from bethlehem" which involved so many different people from different age groups, from a 4-month old all the way up.  it is very worthwhile to be a part of something so much bigger than yourself, and to have such involvement from across the church community.  we performed the play at a nursing home last week for around 100 people, and then again at our church yesterday for well over a hundred.  all in all, we had tons of fun, and hopefully got across the message of Christmas in a fresh way. 

in the picture above you see some of our children who are busy singing 'away in a manger.'  i hadn't realized it until rehearsing for this play, but cade is clearly a microphone hog and drama king.  he wanted to be front and center everytime and really sing into that mic.  during one of the performances he swayed dramatically near the end of the song, finally collapsing at the final note ala jimmy hendrix or janis joplin.  very rock-n-roll.  of course i don't have any idea where he would have ever seen such behavior. 

here is shannon - aka esther - with a field reporter from the BBS (bethlehem broadcasting system) doing a live interview about the journey to bethlehem.  she is a total ham.  the field reporter, by the way, is played by my doctor, in whom i have lost a great deal of confidence after this performance.  only kidding.  i think.  i'm just praying he doesn't wear that wig next time he needs to check me for a hernia. 

and then here is the (un)holy family.  the star role is played by our son quinton, who at 4 months old and 20-some pounds is the biggest baby Jesus ever, but at least he was relatively silent for the silent night portion of the show, which is more than we can say for the rest of the cast. 

the play dealt with the idea of a news channel covering the birth of Christ.  the odd truth of it, of course, is that if Jesus were to be born into our world today, even with so many around-the-clock news channels and extreme coverage of just about everything, one gets the feeling that this story would slide right under the radar.  a baby being born isn't usually headline-grabbing stuff.  especially when that baby is born to a simple worker from a small town and a humble girl from the middle of nowhere.  the news would likely be much more interested in the latest presidential "flub" or spinning the newest unemployment figures or even telling us what lady gaga wore to this or that awards show.  but the savior of the universe?  the one who would be love?  that wouldn't have even made the religion page. 

perhaps the same unfortunate script is played out in our hearts and lives each year.  the greatest story ever told takes a back seat to the rest of what the season has to offer, much of which is good, just not nearly as good.  i, for one, want to make sure that the front page headline of my life during this season is the birth of love, not only as an historical event, but as a personal reality. 

saturday song: heat/snow miser

well, advent continues, and that means that our family tradition of advent socks is in full swing.  we have 24 socks hanging on our big double window, and each day the kids get to look in a sock and see what is inside.  sometimes it is a small gift or piece of candy, but most times it is an activity to do.  yesterday's activity was that they got to watch a holiday movie, eat popcorn, and all of us -as a family - camped out in the living room by the Christmas tree for the night.  we had a blast. 

before we went to bed, we saw "the year without a santa claus" christmas special on tv, and so i thought i would share this classic song from that show.  enjoy you saturday, and stay warm.  or cool.  whichever you prefer. 

10-3. toughtest.quarterback.ever.

getting our christmas tree

saturday we went to a local tree farm to cut down our christmas tree.  it was a gorgeous day, and we had fun selecting the perfect tree. 

no tree farm is complete without an old caboose, right?  it made for a nice picture, anyway. 

when we got it home, we noticed a male model walking by.  we asked him to help us carry our tree into the house, and we snapped this picture of him.  clearly he must do some weightlifting. 

and here are the boys in front of the finished product, wearing their new christmas glasses, which, when used to look at the lights on the tree, display hundreds of little snowmen or santas.  it's beginning to look alot like christmas!

pizza and pajama pants

--oh, how i love thee, random posts.  i don't have to spend hours thinking about what i'm going to write.  i just sit down and see what comes out.  it's liberating.

--'new girl' with zooey deschanel is seriously one of the best shows on television. her charm is unstoppable and irresistible.  the supporting cast is really fun.  now that i think about it, it's sort of like "friends" for 2011, with less hairspray. 

--yesterday caedmon looked at our stockings hanging on the mantle and said, "why do we have these giant socks hanging here?"  i guess he isn't big on Christmas traditions yet. 


--last night was my turn to cook. so i had to make a tough choice between ramen noodles or papa johns. i think you can guess which one won.

--our church is doing a christmas play called "live from bethlehem" this sunday afternoon.  if you're in the sunbury area, you should come check it out around 1pm on sunday at our church.  it'll be worth it just to see caedmon sing away in a manger (if he does it anything like he did it at the nursing home this weekend); it comes complete with a dramatic rock-star ending in which he ends up on the ground.  seriously.  he is so dramatic.  no idea where he got that.  here's a a picture of shannon holding the largest baby jesus you ever saw. 

--'tis the season for Christmas music.  amazon.com is giving away a song every day.  some of them are awful, but there are some gems, too.  i love Christmas music, especially since i have about 700 Christmas songs that i can just put on shuffle and fa-la-la-la-la my way through the day.  here is one of the more amusing ones. 

--the steelers play the thursday night game this week, which means that they play TOMORROW NIGHT!!!  i've said this before, but in my paradise, the steelers play doubleheaders every day, and win them all.  this week the steelers look to move to 10-3 against the browns.  as with most of the other teams we've played this year, the browns will probably put all their emotion into this game, wanting to beat the reigning afc champions, not to mention a division rival.  they would love to spoil our playoff run.  so the steelers better not take this game lightly.  you hear me, steelers? 

--we ran out of cream for our coffee this morning, so after i took jackson to the bus stop i went to the grocery store.  in my batman pajama pants.  i've sunk to a new low.  but i needed that cream. 

--everybody have a great wednesday. 

--ps.  it was pizza, in case you were wondering. 

one step away from jerry springer

as i prepared for last sunday's sermon on joseph and the town of bethlehem, i was struck with a realization that, while i'm sure i've had before, felt more poignant and powerful than ever.  (does this ever happen to you?  you already "know" something, but then you somehow relearn it, or come across it in a new way, and it nearly slaps you in the face?  happens to me all the time). 

it's about Joseph.  who found out that his betrothed was pregnant.  and he knew he hadn't been the reason. 

we don't know many details about how this all happened, but one very reasonable possibility is the one that adam hamilton puts forth in his book "the journey," which suggests that mary probably gave this news to joseph while she was in ein karem, visiting her cousin elizabeth.  bethlehem, joseph's hometown, was only a few miles away, and it is likely he would have come to visit her during this time.  but it wouldn't have been a very good visit.  she had to tell him the news.

we can only guess at how he reacted, but i gotta think that it wasn't pretty.  at least not at first.  no one reacts well to being so deeply hurt.  sure, mary would have told him that she wasn't unfaithful, that indeed it was the Spirit of God who had made all this happen, but Joseph simply didn't believe her.  don't believe me?  look at what the gospel of matthew says.  the bible tells us that joseph planned on dismissing mary quietly.  in other words, he was looking for a way out of this betrothal.  because his betrothed, he thought, had been less than faithful. 

in fact, one can imagine him walking back to bethlehem from ein karem, thinking about these very things.  feeling hurt and angry.  this story is about one bad decision away from becoming a jerry springer episode.  joe knew that he had a great deal of power in his hands, because the law was clear on this point: the punishment for adultery was death.  if joeseph had chosen to go the legal route (and he would have been "justified" in doing so by the law, and probably by public sentiment, for the most part), mary would die. 

but something happens to Joseph's thinking.  either in a matter of moments, or days, or weeks, we don't know for sure.  but he decides that he will take care of the matter as privately and quietly as possible. 

now, we have often thought, "wow. what a great guy."  but there's more to this picture than we often realize. 

think about it.  what's going to happen if joseph and mary separate quietly, and then people start to realize that mary is pregnant?  they will, of course, ask how things are going with Joseph as the marriage date approaches.  she will have to tell them that they are no longer betrothed.  and then what will people begin to assume?  well, that joseph and mary violated the terms of their betrothal and slept together.  this would be a huge disgrace on joseph.  he would suffer shame and dishonor.  his family would suffer great financial loss as they would have to pay the full dowry to the mary's family.  according to law, it seems joseph would have had to pay a kind of child support to mary, as well.  joseph would carry this reputation around with him for the rest of his life.  and all because he couldn't bear to see his betrothed executed for this infidelity.  in other words, he had compassion. 

of course, the story changes here and joseph finds out, through a dream, that mary was telling the truth and that he should continue the engagement and marry her and take the son as his own.  and joseph is obedient on this point.  but i think we too often gloss over all that has come before the dream.  matthew tells us that joseph was a righteous man.  and yet we often miss what it is that makes him righteous.  it is most certainly NOT a strict adherence to the law.  it isn't a firm sense of justice.  instead, it is compassion.  it is his decision to value life and mercy over justice and rules.  it is his ability to place the person over the punishment, even though he had been badly hurt, and would continue to face consequences for this action.  joseph, for as little as we know about him, is a great model of compassion for each of us.  and one that we need to pay attention to.

where are we lacking compassion?  where  is it that we are more comfortable to rely on the "law" to justify our behavior?  the law might be civil law, or church law, or even something we might call "biblical law," in which we believe the bible is clear about something.  we hide behind these laws, and let them make decisions for us, so we don't have to deal with the messiness of life.  the church today is struggling with this very thing on a host of issues.  i suspect many of us are in the same wrestling match in our own lives, as well.  the challenge that joseph gives us is that we must place the value of a person over and above the value of being right. 

maybe it's a lesson jesus learned from joseph.  after all, he did tell us that a great name for our loving God is abba, or daddy.  maybe he learned some important life lessons at the knee of his abba.  maybe he learned that the greatest law (or rule) of all, is to love God, and to love others.  it certainly is something that joseph understood and exemplified.  what about us?

steelers get demonstrative

well, that was better.  usually, steelers games involve some intense levels of panic and pacing, shortness of breath, cold sweats and, ultimately, cardiac arrest.  pretty much every week.  but not this week.  now, that's not to say that i was comfortable with the steelers 35-7 win over the bengals.  far from it.  i'm the kind of fan who wants every game to be 63-0.  otherwise i have this nagging sensation that the other team is going to somehow come back. 

well, it didnt' happen.  and while i wouldn't personally call this game a thing of beauty, it was a demonstrative win nonetheless, and the steelers keep pace with the ravens for the afc north sweepstakes and all but secured a wild card berth, barring some terrible collapse in the remaining games.   so, all in all, it was a great day for the black and gold. 

antonio looked great again, catching some nice paces and making moves after catches for some yacs.  also a great punt return to the house (but kudos must be given to bryant mcfadden for blocking THREE dudes on that one play). 

one of my favorite steelers is emmanuel sanders.  i wish he would factor into the offense a bit more, as i think he could be just as effective as brown, but here's hoping he's in black and gold for awhile to keep getting opportunities. 

keisel's been coming up big recently.  it must be the beard getting back to its former length and reacquiring some of its magical powers. 

this is just a really cool shot of the offense.  phil simms was mentioning it several times during the telecast on cbs yesterday, but i happen to agree with him.  while the steelers offense hasn't shown it can move the ball at will, it also must strike a certain amount of fear in the hearts of opposing defenses, what with all those receivers and now three capable tight ends (johnson, saunders and miller) who can both catch and block, not to mention mendenhall and redman.  there are a ton of weapons there.  if the offensive line can stay healthy and keep improving, this offense has a very high ceiling. 

ben was good yesterday.  not great, but good.  and that's exactly what they needed.  he didn't turn the ball over.  he didn't do anything stupid.  didn't force anything.  just played good football.  therefore it won't be one of his huge stat days, but it is a divisional win and that's what really matters.  good job, ben. 

and so the steelers are 9-3, with four games to go.  it is very realistic that they will end up 12-4, or even 13-3.  one game at a time, of course, but things look good here in early december.  it was great to see the steelers win big at home.  now they have a very short week in preparing for the browns in pittsburgh on thursday night.  go steelers!

o christmas tree

today we are going to get our christmas tree and decorate it, so i thought a version of "o tannenbaum" would be appropriate for this day.  the legos are just icing on the cake.  have a great saturday!

rockin' around the christmas tree

well, every year i try and make one of these ridiculous videos over at jibjab.com, and we get alot of laughs out of them here.  maybe you'll get a chuckle out of it, too.  hope you have a great weekend. 

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

four on four

 a few weeks ago we had some friends from new jersey visit and spend the weekend with us.  now, just as a point of reference, i should be clear about one point:  we are adults.  well, at least shannon and i are.  and two of the three who came to visit were also adults.  for those keeping score at home, that's four adults and four kids.  pretty even numbers, i'll grant you, but don't forget that we have the advantage in physical skills (speed, strength, agility [okay, maybe not agility]), reasoning, driver's licenses, money (not much) and the distinct ability to eat something other than a nugget shape made of something resembling the meat of a chicken. 

in short, advantage parents, right? 

you would think.  so guess what we did with our guests?  put the kids to bed early, hire a babysitter, and head out on the town to experience some night life?  or maybe just settled in with a movie that wasn't made by pixar or dreamworks (i'm not even sure there are any at this point)?  maybe you think you know a thing or two about parents, and so your guess is that we just relaxed, being exhausted from chasing kids around all day, so we just sat on the couch and vegged while telling stories about our children.  good guess.  that would be close, but no carrot stick (it's like an orange cigar...you know....nevermind). 

no, somehow, despite our advantage in mental acumen and sheer physical force, we found ourselves spending saturday afternoon surrounded by bins and piles of legos.  we built cranes and tractor trailers and a giant lego island, and this guy, which was shannon's work: 

did we lament that we weren't doing something more "adult?"  did we regret that we spent the afternoon stacking rectangles and perusing through piles of plastic blocks? 

absolutely not.  we had a blast.  you see, i, for one, believe that playing is very important.  play gets a bad rap sometimes, at least compared to work, but it is at least equally important.  in fact, it is sometimes the same thing, or a more effective way to work.  when we play well, we learn and explore and create and dream and take risks.  without play, without using our imagination, what would life be like? 

and so there we were: four adults, sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by blocks and cubes and minifigures strewn about, laughing and creating and building.  maybe it wasn't quite as adventurous as going to the mall and then happy hour at applebees, but then again, maybe it was way more adventurous.  it certainly was more worthwhile.  both for our children, and for us. 

don't stop playing!

thanksgiving chain

this year, all through the month of november, our family worked on a thanksgiving chain.  each night after dinner, each of us would write one thing we are thankful for on a small slip of paper, which we would then glue and add to the chain in our dining room.  by the end of the month it was pretty long, and even included links made by different guests we had over for dinner during the month. 

it was a great exercise in gratitude, not only for the children, but also for shannon and i.  and now it is fun to take a look back and see the different things we've been thankful for over the month, like this one, which is Jackson's.  why not be thankful for batman?  he stops such awful villains as mr. freeze, the riddler, and the wildly grotesque killer croc.  i'm thankful, too!

i particularly enjoy this one, which is caedmon's.  it says "magical pencils," and is how he says "mechanical pencils," which i suppose is something he is thankful for.  hey, might as well be grateful for the little things, you know?

shannon is thankful for laughter. 

i am thankful for hope, among other things.  and i am hopeful that even as we put away the thanksgiving chain for another year, we won't pack away the underlying necessary attitude.  we need to foster gratitude in the midst of a culture of greed in which people spray each other with pepper spray in order to get a good deal on a waffle iron which will probably end up in the back of a cupboard in a couple of months.  we are a people who are very sick with affluenza, and as much as i want my kids to have things, i also really want them to be filled with a sustaining kind of gratitude.  and it starts with me, and my own willingness to be content with the abundant life i am living.  i hope to leave that legacy for my kids.  and i'm thankful for that hope.