Breaking News: Man hears God's voice, Name



Man Claims that God Reveals "Secret Name," Wants to Deliver the Oppressed
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
by X. Odess, Staff Reporter

(AOR) MT. HOREB - The voice of God can be heard even in small brush fires.  At least that's what one local man, a shepherd named Moses, believes as he claimed to have heard God's voice today in a burning bush.  Just like any other day, Moses was tending the sheep of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian.  But this turned out to be anything but an ordinary day for the awestruck Moses, who says he saw a bush that appeared to be engulfed in flames but not consumed by the fire.  Intrigued by this strange sight, Moses approached and he says he heard a voice.  "It was like nothing I'd ever heard before, "he told Agent Orange Records, "like the sound of the sun setting, or like music from the heavens."  Moses claims that this celestial voice instructed him to remove his sandals, telling him that this section of Mt. Horeb is "holy ground." 

While many have claimed to have visions and dreams at Mt. Horeb, few have been this detailed.

Moses notes that the voice claimed to be the God of his father, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  When asked what God looked like, Moses replied, "I really can't say, I was hiding my face the whole time." 

An encounter with God from flaming flora would seem to be enough, but there was more.  "God told me that the cry of the oppressed
has reached God's ears, and that God wants to send me to lead them out of captivity."  Before you assume that these are the visions of a raving lunatic, Moses is quick to point out that he tried to get out of this task, citing his inability to speak in public, his lack of credibility, and the fact that he didn't even know the name of this God in the fire. 

Moses, who says he simply referred to God as "lord" or "God" prior to today's strange occurence, recalled that when he pressed God on the identity question, God responded by saying, "My name is 'I am that I am' or 'I will be who I am' or 'I will be.'"  When asked why God would choose a verb for a name, Moses replied, "I have no idea, I guess God wants us to see that God isn't just a thing that we can name and understand, but God is - and will continue to be - the source of action towards freedom and redemption." 

Again, is Moses a madman?  Or is he just a man, mad with the experience of hearing the voice of God, calling him to help lead others from slavery to freedom, from oppression to community?  And what of this "I Am" God?  These questions, and others, remain unanswered.  But you can bet the folks here around Mt. Horeb are going to be looking for answers, even as Moses packs his bag to head for the lands of oppression to answer the call of this bizarre moment.  "God will go with me," says Moses. 

We hope so, Moses.  Pharoah won't be so easily convinced. 

the dawn is coming!

well, it's coming up on that time again.  we're only a couple of weeks away from the start of the football season, and while that feels like it might as well be a hundred years, i figured it was probably the right time to go ahead and profess my love (in case you didn't know) of football in general and the pittsburgh steelers in particular.  the video above is a fun little take on the earthquake last week and it's relevance for the start of steeler season.  the folks over at benstonium.com make some really funny and quality videos. 

anyone who lives in pittsburgh or reads the news (i try to read the post gazette online as often as i can) knows that the newest batman movie was just recently filmed in pittsburgh.  not only that, but it will have a huge steeler connection, as the executive producer of the film is a part-owner of the team, and as such enlisted many of the steelers to be in a scene featuring the gotham football franchise.   there was a great deal of buzz (as well as traffic) in the city about this film, and this video does a great job of making the connection between the dark knight and QB1.  this is well worth the view:



oh yeah, it is time.  i've watched that video 15 times already and every time i get more adrenaline pumping through me.  the dawn is coming!  holy seventh lombardi trophy, batman!  i.am.so.excited.

i've been reading.  i just finished reading through a fantastic steelers publication which comes out every year during the preseason, called the Maple Street Press Steelers Annual.  You can order it here. 

and now i am currently reading a book called "the ones who hit the hardest" which is a really cool read about the steel industry in pittsburgh, the rich bankers in dallas, the birth of the AFL and then the super bowl era, and the rivalry between the steelers and the cowboys.  it's a great read so far. 

so between reading the steelers news each day, browsing the list of steeler blogs i love, reading publications and books, and watching youtube videos, i am AMPED.  that's right, all capitals.  like "somebody-get-that-guy-some-decaf" amped.  and, just to wrap this up and help you catch the fever that i am infected with, here''s a reminder of what is to come here in a couple of weeks:

first day of school, 2011

well, we've started another year of school.  both boys have started their respected grades, and now we've already come to our first monday of the year.  it is, predictably, sleepy.  still, it's been a great first few days, and although mommy and daddy were very nervous about jack starting first grade at a whole new school this year, he seems to be doing really well and wanting to go back each day.  i think his favorite part is that he gets to ride the bus in the morning. 

cade is back for his second year of preschool at the same school he went to last year, so he is feeling pretty comfortable there.  looks like it will be a good year for him to learn all sorts of new things. 

and left at home, it's shannon and quinton and i.  i'm looking forward to all the things that we will learn together this year, and all the ways we will grow as students and as a family.  to see the letter i wrote to my boys at the beginning of the school year last year, .click here.  and remember: never stop learning!

saturday song: when the cold wind blows

well, given that as i type this, hurricane irene is already pounding the coast of north carolina and is carrying deep threats with it as it travels north east, i had wanted to make my saturday song be this song by waterdeep from the album "waterdeep worship" called when the cold wind blows.  it's a song about how the circumstances of our lives (both good and bad) aren't an indication of whether or not God loves us.  instead, it is God's presence with us in the midst of the storms of life that remind us that God still loves  us.  and yet, in the midst of the rising waters and cold winds, we, in our humanity, are still given to ask, "where are you, God?  do you still love us?" 

i hear the echo of God's answer to us in isaiah 43:    I have called you by name; you are mine.  When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.

When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?

When the lightning crashes
Hopes are dashed and I
Am asking how this comes to me
and why

When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?
still love me
When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?

When you left us last time
You said You’d return
And I’m sorry that it
takes so long to learn

That my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day
Oh my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day

When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me

make slime: our summer crossed off in dry erase

i have an awesome wife, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that she is an awesome mom.  this post is evidence of that fact.  the picture above is a photo of a framed picture in our house, under glass.  it is a fun list of all the things we wanted to do this summer, which she put together.  it is under glass because the kids could then use a dry erase marker to cross everything off once it was completed. 

i guarantee that, left to my own devices, i wouldn't have done something like this.  and even if i had, it would have been full of things like:

go to steelers training camp

watch at least 50 yankee games

watch each of the 6 steelers superbowl wins

and so on. 

but not shannon.  she made an awesome list.  it includes things like:

go camping

make slime

ice paint

make a pet rock

watch fireworks

make glue prints

play in the sprinkler

catch a lighting bug

play in the ocean

tie dye t-shirts

go to the zoo

turn lemons into lemonade

have a water balloon fight

have ice cream for dinner

and many more.

how awesome is that?  now that summer is over for us, as school has started for both boys, we have this great little framed journal that reminds us of so many of the fun and interesting things we did as a family this summer. 

as an example, these are the ice paints that shannon made with the boys:

and here are some pics of the boys using them:

and some of the finished products:

so, as you can see, we've had a fun and fascinating summer, full of new additions and old traditions (going to cape may, going camping at knoebels).  we've tried new things (making slime!) and rediscovered timeless joys (catching fireflies, growing a garden).  hopefully,  we've grown together as a family, learned a ton, and lived out a love that will continue to shape and form us in the seasons to come.  we've been beyond blessed, and we celebrate that as we move into the much more disciplined schedule of the school year.  more on that tomorrow.

an open letter to quinton on the first month anniversary of your birth

my dear quin,

well, what do you think?  since you've emerged into this wider-than-you-realized world, the sun has risen and set some 30-odd times and those of us who keep track of such things can now proclaim that you are having your first month's birthday.  all of this just serves to confuse your older brothers who think you get to have faster and more frequent birthdays than they, but i'm wondering if you really care at all.  if you do, you're keeping your cards close to your chest.  by that i mean that you've spent this morning much like every morning (make that every part of every day) of your life so far: sleeping, crying, eating, and making messes in your pants.  i think that about covers it.  the fact that you've reached an early milestone doesn't seem to phase you. 

in fact, not much phases you.  i am amazed at how you barely seem to notice the way cade likes to stomp and yell near you; how you hardly react when he grabs your arms and legs and moves them around, or gets up in your face and gives you a few thousand kisses in a row.  you just don't let it bother you. 

i'm proud of you for that trait.  here you are in a new world, a new house full of new people who are constantly poking, prodding, smearing, bathing, wiping, changing, kissing, and patting you and you just roll with the punches.  that will serve you well in this family, i think, since you're going to have alot of stuff to put up with over the foreseeable months and years.  you'll be tricked and tickled, made to do the jobs your brothers don't want to to, and restricted from doing the things you're not quite old enough to do.  so stick with the laid-back thing.  it will help you survive. 

and i can't let this moment pass without taking the opportunity to tell you about how much we love you.  yes, we may be annoying, but you need to understand that we mean well.  the flash of the camera is not to irritate your eyes and wake you up, it's just that we want to capture every moment of your life on pixels because we're desperately afraid of how quickly it is passing us by.  the kisses aren't meant to disturb and annoy you; it's just that we want to inhale your pure and precious life and find someway to make you understand that we adore you.  and the wiping and changing, well, that's just to keep you from getting a rash.  but still, it's another way we are saying we love you.  i don't know for sure, but i do pray that you can, in your own way, understand it.  i hope, when your lips curl up in what we like to interpret as a smile, that it's at least something slightly more than gas.  i'm probably wrong, but i like to believe it.  because i like to believe that as you are sleeping in between poops, you are dreaming intensely beautiful and comfortable dreams, because you are resting easy in a wild and tender and completely thorough love which will never let you go. 

so happy one month birthday!  sleep well, and stay relaxed.  but, take it easy on the pooping.  seriously. 

all my love,

daddy.

like the fig in a newton

well, this morning i'd thought i'd just reflect on yesterday's mri experience.  my head didn't itch as furiously as i feared.  but there were a few rebellious pores on my face that thought it would be hilarious to do an irish jig right on my cheek, daring me to twitch my cheek or squirm in the machine. 

as it turns out, that was the least of my problems.

while i was lying inside this sanitized mechanized death trap, wearing headphones, they pumped light classical music into my ears.  this would be nice and calming except that the music coming through was frantic classical music, like schubert on speed.  and, to be honest, the music didn't really matter.  i could have been listening to death metal and i wouldn't really have noticed because you don't get much of a chance to hear it, when the blips and beeps and buzzes of the mri machine start assaulting your ears.  it felt like some acid-induced techno music made by someone with access to a variety of buzzing sounds only.  either that, or i was being tortured by the Hellish Association of Techno Enthusiasts (HATE) for stealing all their beats.  either way, it was torturous.

and hot.

extremely hot.  i now know what it feels like to be broiled.  like a london steak, i was being cooked.  my ill-fitting scrubs were dripping with sweat when i finally emerged, and i had the distinct feeling that the technician was salivating when she looked at me (she also was wearing an napkin in her shirt and was holding a fork and a knife).  i thought it was odd when they started sprinkling salt and pepper on me, and i started running when i saw the bottle of a-1 sauce.

i jest, i jest.  but seriously.  no, i mean it.  seriously:

i was in the mri from about 1:20 to 2:05.  does anyone know what happened on the east coast yesterday at 1:58pm?  oh, yeah, AN EARTHQUAKE!!! 

there aren't many places i can think of that i would rather not be when an earthquake happens than inside an mri machine like the fig in a fig newton.  everyone asked me if i felt it.  are you kidding me?  how was i supposed to know?  i was being cooked and bleeped to death and i'm supposed to feel a few tremors from virginia?  i'm pretty sure the hospital could have fallen in on itself and i would have been lying there trying not to think about my itchy cheek.  when i finally got out and heard about the quake, i was even more terrified than before! 

in review: it wasn't a pleasant experience.  i was crammed, buzzed and cooked all so that they could take some pictures of my insides.  i sure do hope that those pictures turn out and that they can account for "geological intereference" because i don't want to have to do it again. 

mri (my head itches already)

well, today i'm scheduled to get an MRI, which supposedly stands for magnetic resonance imaging, fancy medical jargon used to conceal the fact that it really stands for "may result in insanity" or "major reduction in inertness."  in other words, i'm going to have to sit very still for however long it takes and try to think about how i'm not allowed to move.  with every thought about not moving i will want to move more.  i imagine that i will feel every pore on my scalp calling out to me with an intense and torturous itch, begging me to scratch it.  it will be man vs. nature and man vs. machine all wrapped in one, as i wrestle against both my baser itchy instincts and my will to conquer this picture-taking torture chamber.  hopefully this will provide a picture of my back that will be helpful in understanding what caused my very debilitating pain this summer, in addition to turning me into a slobbering, scratching idiot. 

 i'm feeling much better, now, of course, and am getting started resuming my workout schedule so i can get back on the wagon of losing weight. 

if only i make it through this Massively Raging Irritation. 

the twenty dollar bill principle

i once washed a twenty dollar bill in the pocket of my pants.  when i found it, it was balled up and soaking wet.  when i tried to straighten it out, i ripped it, and parts of it had just crumbled away in the agitation and rinsing.  it was a mess. 

but with some tape and time, i managed to make it look something like a twenty dollar bill again, and took it to the bank, where the teller shook her head at me with a slight smile, and handed me a new crisp bill. 

i share this little episode because i've been thinking about paul's words to the church rome (in romans 12) about how we should offer our bodies to God as living sacrifices.  when i think about offering things to God, i think about trying to give my best.  God wants the things that i'm good at, right?  God wants to see my best efforts, right?  like, i should preach for God, and make collages for God, but certainly not ice skate for God, or cook for God.  that would just be insulting.  and there's no way God wants me to offer my body, which is merely a sad reminder of what it used to be, what with a bad back, graying hair, and a good-sized intertube firmly lodged around my midsection.  surely, God isn't interested, right?

not according to Paul.  Paul says that we have a "spiritual act of worship."  do you have any idea what this worshipful act of our spirits is?  yep, it's right there in romans 12: it is when we offer our bodies to God as living sacrifices. 

here's the thing.  i think we have become really good at being what i call percentage people, or pie chart people.  we give God part of our life, and we might label that part of the pie chart "God" or "faith."  in that slice we throw things like church and prayer.  We include the Bible in there and that time we watched the passion of the christ.  we reference that slice when we have a significant need, or when catastrophe strikes, but we are more likely to be found dabbling in one of the other slices of our lives: entertainment, career, family, hobbies, and so on.  we have this nagging sense of guilt that maybe our "God slice" should be a bigger part of the pie, but all that does is make us avoid the God slice even more, because we don't like feeling guilty. 

we are percentage people.  God gets a percentage, and that should be enough, right?

except paul is trying to teach the church in rome that God doesn't just want our spiritual percentages.  God wants all of us.  even our bodies.  remember that twenty dollar bill i mentioned?  many of us feel like that andrew jackson:  mutilated, torn, broken, old, washed up and worthless.  but if the blasted amercian government will take that twenty and give it value, how much more will God receive us demonstrate just how valuable we are?  how much more will the one who designed you - who knit you together in the womb - take you and embrace you in warm love?  how much more will the one who adores you welcome you with a love that sees beyond wrinkles and pudge, beyond guilt and bad choices? 

maybe you've been agitated, rinsed and spun.  maybe you've been broken by the years, or by your choices, or by your circumstances.  maybe you look in the mirror and can't see much good.  but God desires all of you.  not just your best.  but all of you.  the whole pie.  God wants to journey with you through the slices of your life called career and familiy and entertainment and hobbies, and even those parts that you secretly and shamefully would never write on the pie chart.  God wants all of you.  the God who makes all things new, who fixes what is broken and breathes (abundant) life into what is dead, wants you to offer your body as a living sacrifice.  it is your spiritual act of worship. 

saturday song: beautiful things

i've been listening to this song all week, and really enjoying it (the whole album, actually), so i thought i'd share it this morning.  it's by gungor (formerly the michael gungor band) and it comes from the album "beautiful things."  that is also the name of the song.  and it expresses that old sentiment that "God don't make junk," but so much more eloquently.  it speaks to the wonderful truth that God takes what is broken and fixes it.  or takes what is chaos, and makes cosmos (see madeline l'engle's "walking on water" for more about that particular image).  in any case, God makes beautiful things.  it's amazing.  and hope-giving.  enjoy. 

my few days in pittsburgh

it's been a great few days, and i thought i would share it with you. 

after church on sunday, we drove out to pittsburgh (quin's first long car ride - he did great) and met my mom and dad and sisters and their families at kennywood park. 

i got to ride the racers, the thunderbolt, phantom's revenge, the bumper cars, raging rapids, the kangaroo, the brand new roller coaster (forgot the name) and my all time favorite: the jackrabbit.  the boys got to ride a bunch of things, too, which was fun, and we had great weather and very short lines, so a good time was had by all.  it brought back a ton of memories since i spent two summers working there, and not that much has changed in 14 years. 

monday night we had a little family and friends get-together so some folks could meet quinton for the first time.  we had a great time, but earlier that day i had slipped out for a little jaunt up to latrobe to catch the steelers second-to-last public practice of training camp at st. vincent college.

unfortunately, the weather was nasty, and just as the players got onto the field for practice, it started with the thunder and lightning pretty heavily, so tomlin sent the team back indoors.  all wasn't lost, however.  i had taken a great picture of backup nose tackle a few years ago at camp.  everyday at practice at the end of the stretching period he does this russian-style kicking dance that the players all call the "hokey pokey."  it ends with the this stocky defensive lineman making a great leap into the air and kicking his leg.  it's all quite impressive.  anyway, a few years ago at camp i captured a very fortunate picture of him at the peak of his leap.  i had it printed on an 8x10 and have been hoping to have him sign it.  i saw him at camp last year and asked him to sign it, but he was clearly having a bad day, and said something along the lines of "not today, man," as he kept hitting the sleds.  but this year, as he walked down towards practice, i held the picture out to him, and as soon as he saw it, he came over with a smile on his face and said he would sign that. as he was signing it, he asked me to send him a copy!  this picture is from my cell phone, but you get the idea:

i also got this photo of ziggy hood signed.  the dude is real big. 

i also got to slap hands with james harrison, as well as a few other steelers.  so, despite the fact that i didn't get to watch them practice, i certainly did enjoy being up close to the players and wishing them all a great season.  nothing like training camp at latrobe. 

now, the whole reason i had planned this trip to pittsburgh was that i was going to attend a continuing education event called "theology and baseball" held at PNC park.  as soon as i saw this event advertised, i jumped on it, since it combines two things that i love!  so tuesday morning i drove dawntawn (that's pittsburghese for downtown, for those who don't know) and entered pnc park through the media entrance.  we enjoyed a day of lectures and discussion on baseball and what it might have to teach us about ministry, and really gained alot from it.  we had lunch in the lexus club, and then got to walk around the stadium on this gorgeous day.  pittsburgh looks so beautiful in the blue sky and sunshine.

the game against the st. louis cardinals started at 7pm and i had a very good seat from which to view the action.  the buccos fell behind early, then took the lead on a three-run home run.  they eventually squandered this lead and the game was tied at 3 for a time.  until the top of the 9th when the cardinals took the lead 4-3.  it looked like a disappointing evening for the pirates, until local product neal walker led off the bottom of the 9th with a solo home run that tied it up again. 

we were headed for extra innings (ironically, the same umpire was behind home plate as the game in atlanta that went 19 innings and ended on a terribly blown call in the braves favor).  the teams stayed in stalemate for almost two innings until garrett jones hit a ball not just over the wall but out of the entire stadium into the river for the walk-off win in the bottom of the 11th.

 it was great to see great baseball in a great park with a great crowd.  very exciting. 

so that was my week.  now it's back to work and preparing for the fall, which is nearly upon us already.  oh, and the steelers play tonight....

speaking with the angel

here is a video i put together of a few scenes and pictures from quinton's first few weeks of life.  i set it to a song written by ron sexsmith which is here performed by a folk trio called cry cry cry. the song is called "speaking with the angel" and it is a really cool lyric about the innocence of babies.  take a look, and enjoy our precious little boy.  he's speaking with the angel. 

saturday song: viva la lego

two of my favorite things in one saturday song post:  coldplay and legos.  brilliant!

quin's third week

for those who are only checking my blog for new pictures of quinton (mostly my mom), here are a few of the latest.  our camera has been working overtime, and sorting through the thousands of digital pictures is a chore, but here are some for your viewing pleasure:

a milk moustache, skunk spray and other fantastic fits of fatherhood

 - yep, it's random wednesday time.  welcome back to the steam-of-consciousness ramblings of agent orange records.

-last night i woke up to the sound of quin crying and  the strong odor of a skunk.  i don't mean that it smelled like someone ran over a skunk outside, i mean it smelled like a skunk sat on my chest and aimed his little sprayer right up my left nostril.  this  morning i walked around the house, certain i would find a family of skunks lying on the mulch by the bushes, spent with exhaustion from spraying every inch of the house last night.  but i found no such thing.  it didn't even smell anymore.  i asked shannon if i dreamt it, and she said she smelled it too.  weird.  possible explanations?  skunk stalker?  my own breath?  help!

- i finished reading "the girl who kicked the hornet's nest" which i borrowed from the library (actually, i technically rented it because i had to pay 50 cents to 'borrow' it, so the library could continue to offer such friendly and pleasant service).  it was worth the 50 cents.  it was a page turner from beginning to (almost) end.  it slowed down a bit in the last 40 pages, but i still really enjoyed it as the payoff to the whole series.  i absolutely LOVE the strong female characters and the conflicted nature of almost character in the story.  at times it felt a bit like pulp fiction, but the story was so well told that it was able to rise far above the profane nature of much of the language and activity of the characters.  good stuff.

-oh yes, a baby story.  last night i was finishing the last chapters of my book, and i was holding quinton in my arms as he was falling to sleep, but seemed to be fighting it a bit.  he had his pacifier in his mouth, and would spit it out from time to time, which would result in irritation on his part.  my hands being full of a tiny human and a large book, i couldn't hardly keep the pacifier in his mouth, except by using my mouth.  this i did.  the last time i did it, though, with my mouth a mere millimeter from his, he spewed like a warm milk geyser, all over my face and, yes, inside my mouth. 

-just finished reading "fantastic mr. fox" to jack and cade as bedtime reading.  i love roald dahl stories.  is the movie worth seeing? 

-been listening to a band called deer tick.  particularly the "black dirt sessions."  they've got a very interesting song called "christ jesus" which seems to be filled with such questioning and doubt, a painfully genuine despair, and perhaps - just perhaps - a hint of hope.  in fact the whole album feels that way to me....like maybe there is something worth believing in the midst of all the pain.  i love it when art tells the Truth in a way that nothing else can. 

-one of the teenagers in my church and i will be playing/singing a foo fighters song in church on sunday.  it's called 'february stars' and it will be interesting to see how some of the more traditionalists will respond.  the kid has a fantastic voice and really puts it all out there when he sings.  i'm sure some would rather hear "the old rugged cross" on the organ for the 12,000th time. oh well.

-the first nfl preseason games start friday night.  i don't care that they count for anything...i'm getting stoked.  black and yellow.  yeah, you know what it is.

-just watched "tangled" with the family the other night.  i was surprised how much i liked it.  and as i type this i realize how pathetically 'fathered' i am:  fantastic mr. fox, tangled, and spit-up in my goatee?  we've come a long way, baby.  geesh.

-well, happy wednesday.  cling to hope today.  don't get too upset by the dow or flustered by fox news.  just remember who is One who walks with us even through the valley of the shadow of death, who has planned for us a future and a hope, and who is a heavenly Father with all the wild joy and tender love that implies. 

update on the farm

as i wrote earlier this summer, we've been working on a garden all summer, growing tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelons, carrots, lettuce and peppers, as well as some sunflowers just for fun.  it's been a really neat experience not only to see the whole growth process work, but to do it as a family and then enjoy some of the "fruits" of our labor.  we haven't had to buy lettuce in a while and we've got enough cucumbers to last for a long time.  we've got some great watermelons growing and should soon have a great harvest of tomatoes.  the peppers weren't very successful, and the carrots remain to be seen.  but it's been a really rewarding process for us and we hope that the boys have learned something about food and where it comes from. 

watermelon

bounty

farmer greg

a naked mess

in my sermon yesterday based on matthew 14:22-33, in which we read about Jesus and then simon peter walking on water, i talked about trust, and that trusting in God doesn't mean we won't have storms in life.  in preparation for this sermon i've been thinking a great deal about trust over the last couple of weeks, and its been a pretty cool experience because i am living with such an amazing illustration of trust. 

quin can't do anything for himself. 

well, that isn't quite true.  he poops pretty well.  and on occasion he's got a championship caliber "feed me" cry.  i also must admit that he's pretty good at being ridiculously cute.  so i stand corrected.  he can do a few things.  but my point is this:  he can't really do anything to insure his life.  he can't nourish himself.  he can't provide his own shelter from the elements.  and he can't dress himself or take care of his own messes.  without someone to love him, he'd be hungry, homeless and a naked mess. 

hungry.  homeless.  a naked mess.

the more i have thought about this the more i have come to realize that this is a great description of our spiritual selves. 

on our own, we are no more capable than a 2-week old helpless human to meet our own needs.  and our attempts to act like we can, while perhaps noble at times, are at best pathetic and pitiful.  but we continue the charade anyway.  we pretend that we are ok.  we pretend that we don't need a deep and intimate relationship with God, content instead to sort of float through life with a shallow knowledge about God rather than a deep relationship with God.  we pretend that we don't need one another, pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and other such nonsense.  we pretend that our sins don't really hurt us.  we pretend that all our stuff really makes us happy; that somehow a 2-car garage and an iphone will fill our souls.  we just keep pretending.  and all the while we are no more nourished than a baby sucking on a cloth blanket. 

we were meant for more.  we were meant to trust. 

i'm not talking about the kind of trust that says, "God, i don't know what job opportunity you want me to pursue, so i'm just going to trust that you will work it out."  that kind of trust is often just indecision wearing a spiritual disguise.  and i'm certainly not talking about the kind of trust where we throw our hands up in the air to "let go and let God," which is way too often just apathy and laziness wearing the same spiritual mask.  that's not the "trust" i'm talking about. 

instead, i'm talking about the kind of trust that Quin has: an unspoken and deeply rooted sense that there is One who will provide every need.  when i need fed, i'll be fed.  when i need burped, i'll be burped.  when i need the crap wiped off me, well, you get the picture. 

the point is that it comes down to a fundamental question of what we believe:  do we believe that we have a God who loves us wildly, intimately and fiercely enough to provide our every need, no matter what?  or do we believe in some sense that we have to fend for ourselves?  because there is a huge difference, with far-reaching consequences.  as i hold my little seven-and-a-half-pound son in my arms, i realize that i want to rest like that in God's arms.  i want to believe that fully, that instinctively.  to quote the father in mark's gospel, "i believe, help my unbelief!"  i want eyes to see clearly that my own attempts at earning God's favor and impressing other people simply leave me hungry, homeless and a naked mess.  but God - my tender Father and nourishing Mother, my Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer - God feeds me and covers me with protection and warmth.  God loves me.  i trust that.  i want to trust it more. 

saturday song: farther along

for today's song i give you an artist that i've been listening to a great deal this summer.  i had never heard of josh garrels until i picked up one his albums for free on noisetrade.com (a great website that you should check out) and then he became a regular part of my listening.  a person of faith who doesn't writes about his faith without being trite or relying on moral grandstanding.  the music feels authentic and honest, personal and passionate.  if i had to compare him to anyone, i would say he is sort of a mix of jack johnson, ben harper, mat kearney and ray lamontagne.  this song is a twist on a classic song of faith, one that garrells doesn't allow to become a cliche and patronizing answer to the difficult questions life presents. 

just trust me

just trust me.  that's a statement that rarely seems to conjure up much confidence.  if you have to tell me that i need to trust you, then you've probably already given me sufficient reason to doubt you.  in fact, trust seems to be in short supply these days.  some of that is just human nature: we trust implicitly and instinctively when we are babies and children, and then, as we grow up and discover that others sometimes let us down, we learn to rely on ourselves.  but some of the lack of trust is cultural: america has always valued independence and self-reliance.  pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a national value that has almost nothing to do with trust.  finally, it seems that we live in an age when trust is at an all time low.  we've been disappointed by our heroes.  our political leaders are often frauds, our religious leaders are liars, and our sports heroes are cheats.  power, sex, and money have made fools of them all, and somewhere along the line we have lost our taste for trusting in anything more than "it is what it is." 

which causes me, as a pastor, to ask: what effect does all this have on our desire and ability to trust God?

what do you think?  do you trust God?  why?  how?  what about us as a nation?  it's written on our money, but i have a feeling there's a long list of things we trust before we really trust God as a nation.  is trust just a helpless kind of resignation that "everything will turn out ok in the end?" or is something more active?  is it "letting go and letting God?" or is it some kind of partnership?  

i'm preaching about trusting God on sunday and i'm curious about your thoughts on this.  with a tiny baby in our house, i have a renewed picture of trust: an uninhibited willingness to rely fully on those who love you to meet your every need.  it makes me wonder if this is something like what Jesus had in mind when he said that the Kingdom of God belongs to children.  maybe, because they trust so completely in the love of their parents, they already know the way into the front gate of the Kingdom.  maybe we would do well to lean into love as fully, not just printing it on our money, or using it as an excuse to justify our apathy or laziness, but really living it.  

thoughts? 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.

random wednesday: jambourines and kidz bop 19

-we are getting close to that most excellent time of the sports year when baseball and football are concurrent.  even now it's exciting, what with the yankees in a pennant race, the pirates actually buying instead of selling at the trade deadline, and the nfl going crazy with free agent moves training camp news and new steeler songs.  it's beautiful. 

-speaking of baseball, i will be attending the august 16th pirates game in PNC park as they host the st. louis cardinals.  it will be part of an all day continuing education event called "baseball and theology."  when i saw that thing advertised i just about got whiplash trying to sign up. i couldn't do it fast enough.  two of my favorite things?  plus hot dogs!?!  you've got to be kidding me!  it's going to be a great day!

-the boys went to a program at the library yesterday where they learned about music in different cultures.  they made tambourines out of paper plates.  cade called his a "jambourine."  i think the name should be officially changed. 

-my kids finally started paying attention to kidz bop commericals.  i was wondering how long we'd be avoiding it.  last night in the van they were singing taio cruz's "dynamite" (you know, the one that sounds like they're singing "galileo"), and i asked them how they knew that song.  they heard it on tv.  great.  after singing it for several hours, shannon made me download the song for them.  i'm not sure how i feel about that, but i'm now the proud owner of a terrible rendition of a terrible pop song.  yay, fatherhood!  i'm afraid we've entered a whole new era that i'm not prepared for. 

-quin is doing amazing.  last night shannon had to set her alarm to makes sure she got up to feed him.  he's just sleeping.  she had to wake up him twice to feed him.  i've barely heard him cry so far.  he has certainly made the first week of his life really easy.  thanks, buddy. 

-now reading:  me talk pretty one day by david sedaris and the girl who kicked the hornet's nest by stieg larsson.  both are really good.

-now listening to:  kidz bop 19 

-did anyone catch this story?  mercy mercy mercy.  and i'm not just saying that while shaking my head.  i really mean it:  mercy  all kinds of mercy.  this is an amazing story that raises all sorts of questions, not the least of which is "what would i have done in that situation?"  it's worth the couple moments to read the story. 

one week old

if you're tuning in today for some commentary on the national debt, or my reaction to the steelers free agency moves, or even some inspirational meditation, sorry.  you're getting baby pictures.  that's just how it is around here for a little while. 

at least for now it feels like the world has a new axis: it revolves around quin.  as it should be.  c'mon, it's only been a week!

he's doing really well.  he is sleeping 2-4 hours at a time at night.  he is so good during the day (we have barely heard him cry - only when we change his diaper or his clothes.  otherwise he is so content) and even during his alert time he is just content to look around and take it all in.  we've never had such a quiet and content baby.  he is eating well and certainly all the plumbing is working very efficiently.  also, the cuteness readings are off the charts, so what else can i do?  shameless procession of pictures follow. 

just a couple of days old here.  still not sure about things.

the first night he was home.  everyone in their "brothers" shirts.

jack loves holding quin.  he is very cautious and affectionate. 

cade is not quite so cautious, but showers him with nonstop kisses.  also, he pets him like a dog.

quin thinks i rock. 

best.socks.ever.

alert in meemaw's arms. 

our sleeping monkey.  so cute.